February 15, 2012 by comelookatmychesthair
There were a good 25 days between Thanksgiving and Christmas where I pretty much just played Skyrim in my free time, like most self-respecting (videogame-playing) human beings of the world. I haven’t gone back to it in a while, because my PC — which is really just an old Mac running Windows in bootcamp — has a helluva goddamned time running the game without stuttering every five fucking frames on the lowest of the low visual settings. But I plan to in the near future. Probably after Mass Effect 3.
Anyway! All that aside, a friend of mine drew my attention to a Skyrim mod [via Geek.com] that allows for the player to alter the amount of chest hairs on his/her character, so long as his/her character is a he. Perhaps lady character chest hair will be included in a forthcoming version.
The writer of the Geek.com article remarked, and I quote:
“Why? Why in the world would someone want this added to their game? The more hair mod does exactly what its name says, it gives a player the ability to make their character have more or less chest hair. Perhaps people are using Skyrim to create fantasy romance novels involving dragons and heroes. (Please do not sent [sic] us the cosplay shots.)”
I’m sorry, big guy, but why wouldn’t you want your Skyrim character to have badass chest hair? Do you really believe that the ancient Nordic peoples upon whom the Skyrimmers were based went around murdering motherfuckers only after shaving their body hairs clean off their bodies? That sounds pretty unrealistic, if you ask me, what with a distinct lack of Gillette Fusion Pro-Glide razors and similar modern razing technologies at the time.
Furthermore, I think I sense some sour, no-chest-hair-having grapes up in your article. Did chest hair hurt you, man? Did chest hair break your heart, long ago? Was chest hair your dad who left you and your mom, started another family in Tahoe that he loved way more, and never came back, not even for a visit? Because that’s about the only thing that would explain why you hate it so damn much.
Dead beat chest hair dad is so happy in Tahoe with his second family
But I digress! Again! Hahaha.
So, yeah, when I do eventually return to Skyrim — probably sometime next month — I’ll be doing so with added chest hair. How about yourself?