From “SuperAnimeFan” comes the following creepy chest hair submission:
Will you please review my chest hair O wise King?
Here is a picture of it:
Dear lord, what is that cuckoldress doing to those poor blocks of hairy, greased up meat??
A big, hearty thank you goes out to my good friend and fellow Tumblerer, Mansquito - who is literally 1/2 man, 1/2 squito - for sending me this invaluable article about how chest hair wards off bed bugs, A.K.A. Climex Lextularius.*
According to Professor Michael Siva-Jothy of Sheffield University, via BBC News:
“Our findings show that more body hairs mean better detection of parasites - the hairs have nerves attached to them and provide us with the ability to detect displacement. They also slow down the insect as it searches for a tasty spot to bite.”
In other words, bed bugs are really lazy motherfuckers who would rather drink the blood of the hairless than that of the hairful due to increased difficulty with regard to the latter. Think obese vampires on a nearly microscopic level.
Hm, I’m suddenly remembering my first ever Come Look At My Chest Hair blog-post, which seems tangentially-related now:
Oh, haha, I guess I forgot to read the rest of the BBC article, particularly the following passage:
“[E]xtreme hairiness might actually be more of a disadvantage than an advantage. […] If you have a heavy coat of long thick hairs, it is easier for parasites to hide, even if you can detect them.”
Well, goddammit.
*Climex Lextularius is a strangely sexy name for perhaps the most vile creature on the planet, in King Chest Hair’s humble opinion.
fileoutsidethebox asked: I love chest hair, i'm 18 and it's just silly growing, so do you have any tip of what could i do to increase my chest hair ?
Pray to your dear sweet lord.
Also, genuine question here: What does “it’s just silly growing” mean exactly?
Haha, what the fuck is this? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this poster was advertising for a movie exclusively about chest hair.
Chest Hair: The Movie
(Sounds fucking riveting.)
I mean, Jesus Christ, Universal, if you wanted me to blog about your stupid Les Miserables movie so goddamned much, all you had to do was ask.
Update: It’s been noted in a reblog that the poster is fan-made, but that’s okay because I was doing something called “joking.”
![Courtesy of That’s Not What I Heard:
thedailywhat:
Movember Man of the Day: This furiously epic face-torso hair combo reportedly won this man the title of “International man of Movember.”
If the fight against cancer was a round of bare-knuckle boxing, this gentleman would’ve knocked the sucker out.
[reddit.]
This one goes out to King Chest Hair!
Gracias.](http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw5lvb9I631qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
Courtesy of That’s Not What I Heard:
Movember Man of the Day: This furiously epic face-torso hair combo reportedly won this man the title of “International man of Movember.”
If the fight against cancer was a round of bare-knuckle boxing, this gentleman would’ve knocked the sucker out.
[reddit.]
This one goes out to King Chest Hair!
Gracias.
Back in April, my girlfriend — who runs the awesome eco-fashion blog, Green House of Fashion — and I decided to combine our blog-powers and create a 2012 male pin-up calendar that celebrates both CHEST HAIR and ECO-FRIENDLY [insert whatever] at the same fucking time.
Yessir, these eco-friendly man-chests are the culmination of months upon months of picture-taking, model/prop-procuring, and graphic-designing out the proverbial wazoo. There are twelve chests in all, obviously, eleven of which belong to human men and one of which belongs to a canine man by the name of Guybrush Threepwood Schumacher-Moore.
Each chest — or, uhh, you know, male model — is adorned with eco-friendly fashion, including but not limited to a vintage scarf, a vintage bandana, thrifted sunglasses, upcycled mittens, organic underwear, a recycled cotton backpack, and so on and so forth ad infinitum. The food featured in the calendar is organic or vegan or natural. And best of all, the sexiness is about as bio-degradable as it gets.
Basically, we tried really hard to make everything in this calendar as eco-friendly as physically fucking possible, including the calendar itself.
-
For those of you who have yet to turn back, there are three ways (that I’m aware of?) to enjoy this awesome calendar.
First, you can experience it in the form of a PDF, if that’s your preferred means of perusing calendars:
If you’d like to save the calendar to your computer and you’re using Safari or Google Chrome:
- Go to the PDF
- Select “File” in your internet browser
- Select “Save Page As”
- Choose your preferred download location on your hard-drive
If you’re using Firefox, the PDF should automatically be downloaded onto your computer. If you’re using Microsoft Internet Explorer … may the lord have mercy on your soul.
Second, you can purchase the actual, physical calendar that we’re selling on Etsy. (FYI, 20% of the proceeds will go to the World Wild Life Fund. The rest will go to paying for these goddamned calendars.)
And third, you can peruse the many, many images below (click to enlarge):
So there it is. The calendar crossover of the century. You can also check out my girlfriend’s much better blog-post over at Green House of Fashion to see how much better she is at making blog-posts.
Thoughts? Compliments? Hatred-spewings? Kindly (or in the case of hatred-spewings, not so kindly) leave them in the comments below, please, thank you.
Sincerely,
King Chest Hair
HEY THERE, CHEST HAIR FANS.
Come Look at My Chest Hair has a new URL (though the old one still works and will forward you to the new one):
There it is.
Anonymous asked: Why don't you have pecs?
Because your mom’s a BIG FAT FUCKIN BITCH
You may have noticed the slight web design update to Come Look At My Chest Hair’s masthead.
Check it out below (or, you know, just look a few inches upward):
And let me know what you think!
With love,
Your friendly neighborhood chest-hair-blog-proprietor,
King Chest Hair
Halloween has come and gone, unfortunately, but we still have the all wonderful chest hair-related memories to hold onto. Case in point (click to embiggen*):
This is some eclectic Halloween chest hair going on here. We’ve got Hobo Batman, a couple of Christmas Carolers, Farmboy Superman, and Totaro from My Neighbor Totaro. All hanging out. All showing off their chest hairs. Just as the sweet lord intended!
Did you get the opportunity to show off your chest hairs this weekend? Or did your Sherpa costume not allow for excellent chest hair exhibition?
*Embiggen is a perfectly cromulent word.
I post pictures of people's chest hair, most especially my own, because you don't have the time to go around asking random man-folk to lift their shirts up over their heads. Think your chest hair's prettier and more plentiful than mine? Prove it, you sonofabitch, by submitting between one and several pictures to the blog. But keep in mind, that's not an either/or up there. Prettier and more plentiful or bust.
To submit photos or email me, click here.
To submit a post, click here.
